Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book;
It took me years to write - will you take a look.
Based on a novel by a man named Lear,
And I need a job,
So I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

It's a dirty story of a dirty man,
And his clinging wife doesn't understand.
His son is working for the Daily Mail;
It's a steady job,
But he wants to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

It's a thousand pages give or take a few;
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style;
I can change it round,
And I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

If you really like it, you can have the rights;
It could make a million for you overnight.
If you must return it, you can send it here,
But I need a break,
And I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.